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[Jun. 6th, 2007|01:46 am] |
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| | Lali Puna-Left Handed | ] |
I don't think anyone's really noticed, but in a matter of a month a lot has changed for everyone around me.
People are starting to split up, lot of things are going on for others. Lot of bad and a lot of good, give or take with some people. As for myself, thanks to Eddie, I've been taking fish oil supplements to help with my depression and stress. So far it's been making a pretty remarkable change for me. I don't necessarily feel so caught up on a subject that shouldn't be given any thought for more than 15 seconds. I even feel more willing to go out and do stuff. I've been feeling very active lately and I am going to pick up guitar soon.
I haven't found a job yet (still), but I'm not that worried. My main focus right now is to start hustling. I recycle to give me some extra pocket change for gas, and I'm going to learn how to use Adobe Illustrator to do shit for my mom and get paid. I got all these random ass ideas for hustling all of a sudden. I started thinking about things that I never really considered before. I guess you can say I'm feeling more positive about life. I'm eventually going to pick up two jobs because that's my summer goal. That and to get back in shape. I hit the gym for two hours today, and I didn't feel that winded.
I guess I'm not much around the same people anymore. Everyone else has their lives to worry about, and I have my own to straigten up. I'm not really going to be around the same people as I used to be (I'm going to lead up to that later), and there's some people that I'm hoping to be around more often. I still have my anger spouts every so often, but once I get it out I actually feel better about it as opposed to rambling on about how shitty society is. I'm starting to realize who actually cares about what I have to say. A lot of people don't like what I have to say because it either bums them out, or it's just really uninteresting to hear. I want to be around these people more often because it's only going to make a difference later on.
A lot of my "friends", friends, and acquaintances are starting to split up. There's a lot of divisions between each other because it got to the point where people just can't stand each other anymore. It's funny though, because this seemed to be an everyday issue with me that I know wasn't something I could ignore. Fuck it, survival of the fittest. Last Saturday helped me realize who I'm around is legit and who isn't. One person, who's name I will leave out for the sake of not wanting to namedrop (let's just say he's from Vegas) said, "See that's why no one invites Charles, because he's annoying and he's stealing Spanky's cans and bottles", when I wasn't around. Story is that I was at Spanky's kickback and I decided to help out but in return to recycle all the cans and bottles n' shit. No big thing really. Thankfully enough, one person actually decided to stand up for me and give him shit. I love my friends, I seriously would do a lot for them, but this one person only justified my reasons on why I felt the way I did. Whatever though, no use in making a mountain out of a molehill.
There's still some kinks to knock out in my life. I'm coming to terms with whatever was on my mind before. It's a start I guess. I had a conversation and I was able to respond on things about myself that many other people have told me. I knew it though, like it was made clear to me. It didn't bug me at all though. It wasn't something that made me feel shitty, it just gave me a reason to improve. I don't want to change who I am though. Regardless of how cynical I might come off as being, I'm not that bad of a person. I have difficulty with being calm when I'm always aggravated or upset. Rather that I don't trust anyone in general, I only want to trust the people that actually listen to me. I guess I need to meet new people too, but no one's really come in my direction and I hate using MySpace to do so. I'll see what happens later on.
Shit there's a spider in my room. I just killed it though. Good riddance. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 13th, 2006|09:19 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sad | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Sole-Bottle of Human | ] |
Go to this if you aren't doing anything. If you are, then try to include this.
R.I.P. kid. I still remember how I confused you for being Pam's older sister. |
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